Many same-sex Bay Area couples planning their marriages are finding a
wedding industry in tumult, as businesses built on the tradition of
marriage between one man and one woman are forced to confront a new
landscape.You must not use the stonecarving without
being trained.While some businesses have embraced gay weddings, others
still cling to marriage rituals that exclude same-sex couples, often
turning what is expected to be an enjoyable experience into a
frustrating and at times painful one.
"Every form you fill out,
it says 'bride and groom.' But not every bride has a groom," said Lena
Brancatelli, 32, of San Jose, who will marry her partner of nine years
in September. "The wedding industry is very much heterocentric. It
doesn't include same-sex couples."Court decision last month that
effectively overturned California's same-sex marriage ban opened the
door for thousands of people to enjoy the wedding planning rituals that
have long been reserved for heterosexual couples. But the ruling has
exposed a sharp divide in the industry that, except for a brief period
in California's history, has adhered to the carefully scripted tradition
of a white dress and tux, and lawfully wedded man and wife.
Most
wedding websites, cards and invitations are designed for a man and
woman, and business contracts and marketing materials are tailored to
straight couples, say same-sex couples and gay marriage proponents.
Couples say they are frustrated by venues that have only one bridal
dressing room, the absence of women's clothes at tux shops and bakers
that don't sell cake toppers representing same-sex couples.
Some
wedding registries require listing the husband's last name, and most
photographers don't have experience taking pictures of gay weddings, and
using traditional wedding portrait poses with same-sex couples may make
for awkward photos, according to wedding planning experts."There's just
a whole lot of assumptions that go into a wedding based on how we've
been programmed for centuries," said Bernadette Coveney Smith, a
same-sex wedding expert in New York and founder of 14 Stories, a wedding
planning firm that launched when same-sex marriage became legal in
Massachusetts in 2004. "The industry, by and large, is incredibly
old-fashioned and has a lot of work to do."
Renata Moreira, of
San Francisco, who is planning a winter California wedding with Lori
Bilella, said her caterer stopped replying to her emails after she
requested a cake topper with two brides. Other couples share similar
stories about businesses that stopped returning phone calls or suddenly
changed their minds when they learned the wedding was same-sex."I would
have enjoyed just being in the wedding planning instead of having this
constant conversation about homophobia, rejection and exclusion," said
Moreira, 36, who works at a San Francisco advocacy organization. "I feel
like I'm teaching the industry. They're just not there yet."
Mandy Scott, a florist and wedding planner in San Francisco,Design and order your own custom rfidtag with
personalized message and artwork. said she had a surge of business when
gay marriage was briefly legalized in 2008. Scott is ready to start
booking same-sex weddings again, but she said she knows of a local
florist who refused business from same-sex couples."We're supposed to be
the groundbreakers here," she said.More than 80 standard commercial
and granitetiles exist to quickly and efficiently clean pans. "But there are still people who are very entrenched in their beliefs."
Like
Scott, many of the business owners who have welcomed same-sex weddings
had some prior experience in 2008, when the state Supreme Court struck
down California's ban on gay marriage and paved the way for more than
18,000 couples to marry before voters passed Proposition 8, restoring
the ban.
Hotel Monaco in San Francisco hosted about 10 same-sex
weddings before Proposition 8 passed and has booked two more for this
year. Its parent company, Kimpton Hotels, is offering discounts on
same-sex weddings, including 50 percent off for gay couples who book
their reception before September. Since Kimpton Hotels was founded in
San Francisco in 1981, the company has been a fundraiser and advocate
for the gay community.
After a five-year court battle, the U.S.
Supreme Court on June 26 ruled that Proposition 8 supporters did not
have the constitutional standing to defend the law in federal courts,
effectively ending the state's ban on same-sex marriage. The court has
rejected two subsequent appeals from Proposition 8 proponents. With that
firmer legal footing, many same-sex couples are planning big events and
investing in all the decorations,We Engrave luggagetag for
YOU. food and entertainment that was often left out of the more modest
commitment ceremonies or the rushed weddings in 2008, when the looming
passage of Proposition 8 left a narrow window to tie the knot.
Writer
and editor Maura Johnston, a key figure in the transition of music and
popular culture journalism to the Digital Age, has been appointed as the
Institute for the Liberal Arts first Journalism Fellow.Johnston a
founding editor of Gawker Medias music blog Idolator and former Village
Voice music editor who earlier this year launched Maura Magazine will be
a member of the ILA's seminar on academia and public life, visit
journalism and writing classes, and teach two undergraduate courses of
her own: Journalism and New Media in the fall, and Writing About Popular
Music in the spring.
A contributor to Rolling Stone, The Awl,
Newsday and Spin, Johnston has discussed music and popular culture on
National Public Radio, WNYC, WBUR and CBC Radio, among others, and has
taught the course Writing about Popular Music at New York University's
Clive Davis Institute Of Recorded Music since 2010.It will be very
exciting to have on campus someone who has been a leader in developing
new forms of journalism online, said Rattigan Professor of English Mary
Crane, the ILA director. I know students and faculty will both benefit
from her presence.
Maura brings such a wealth of experience and
sophistication in exploring the possibilities of new media, said
Professor of English Carlo Rotella, an ILA Governing Board member. She's
been a pioneer in everything from the online expansion of traditional
magazines and newspapers to purely digital publications, including the
emerging field of subcompact publishing. Having her here will give all
kinds of members of the BC community opportunities to draw on her
knowledge.
Crane added that Johnstons appointment is part of a
larger renewal and fresh commitment to journalism at BC. She noted the
creation of a new journalism concentration within the American Studies
Program, an expanded slate of journalism courses open to undergraduates
in any college or major across the University, and an ILA seminar for
faculty interested in journalism as a way to reach a wider academic and
public audience.
I look forward to coming to Boston College this
fall, said Johnston, whose sister is a BC Law alumna. BC is an
intellectual mainstay in a city I find fascinating, and Im sure the
experience of spending an academic year there will be very
fulfilling.Johnston noted that Boston bears witness to the harsh
realities facing traditional journalism, citing as examples the closing
of alternative newspaper The Phoenix, as well as the efforts of the
Boston Globe and Boston Herald to adjust to difficult economic and
social trends, especially the growing popularity of online news
sources.
The challenge is how to promote quality journalism in
this new economic model, said Johnston, just as young writers face the
challenge of how to navigate in this changing landscape.A glassbottles is
a machine used primarily for the folding of paper.With the advent of
online publications and blogs, and the retreat of the traditional
newspaper model, Johnston said it is increasingly incumbent upon writers
to be their own marketing department, and promote their work through
social media such as Twitter.
But it goes farther than that, she
added. If youre a writer, you have to get the people youre writing
about to help promote your work, too. That represents a significant
change from the past, when as a journalist your relationship with the
subjects of your writing was viewed as adversarial.
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